monster under my bed..

beneath the macho exterior , gruff voice and a rough manner hid a sensitive soul..
it had been a long day today...long but exciting ,tough but terrific.
Vinnie had been out camping with his mates , he had climbed up a steep hill without missing a beat ,he had dropped down the rock face in record time....through out the day he'd had been leading from the front.And doing it well.

now the last log had died glowing red in the bonfire ....the songs had been sung,the stories exchanged, the backs patted, the ghost story told..

the doors were all closed ,the wind howling along the jackals or was it only the jackals and no wind?all his mates were snug in their sleeping bags..so was he ,or seemed to be or should have been!

he could not sleep.
he could hear the wind wailing in the trees , he could see strange shadows on the walls of the wooden lodge ,he could feel his heart thumping....ghosts...lost souls....intangible monsters and all the things that go bump in the night were lurking slinking roving rambling prowling around ready to grab attack assault maul him if he moved a limb.he knew it .he could feel it.

he was awake and lonely in his wakefulness.his throat was dry and he needed a drink of water.but...he was in the attic of the lodge and the water was down the stairs..

he would die of thirst...
he would die of fear...
he tried to wake one of his friends , he grunted ,turned over and would not wake up...not at all.
perched on the top of the mountain,in the morning ,he had been scared but he had forgotten about his fear once he had taken the first step up!
he recalled it, he was scared now but maybe he would forget his fear once he would take his first step down.
he was trembling but he got up ..
he would definitely not die of thirst...
he thought and this thought brought a smile to him....and he was downstairs.

drop down the mountain...

Kerry is a cheerful, fun loving and a cool girl.
At the moment she was neither cheerful nor fun loving.She felt far from cool.In fact she was a bundle of nerves.Her hands were clammy .Her heart was hammering away in her chest .She had never been so scared in all of her sixteen years.Convinced that she was going to die in a few minutes , she was clinging to the rope that was her only link to safety, with all her might.
She had woken up in the morning with her usual exuberant smile.Even more cheerful than other days since she was going for team building activities with her school mates to an adventure camp in the Aravalli hills.The bus ride had been full of masti and unadulterated fun.They had all been looking forward to the rest of the day with anticipation..

Time for her to rappel down the rock face..a sheer drop...some seventy feet down...
Harness in place..rope tested...helmet buckled...instruction over.
Fear struck.
Kerry was immobile with fear.
Frozen on the ledge from where she had to rappel down ,she decided that she definitely did not want to do this...never ...never ever...she would ask the instructor to pull her up.

She could hear the cheering of her team ,they were calling out her name ,encouraging her to go on.She could hear them shouting her name over and over again......and again.
Her team would lose if she backed out.
She called out to the instructor to ask him to pull her up.
She heard herself say OK .
The rope began to slide down and she was rappelling down...trembling shivering scared.When her feet touched solid earth ,she could not stand up straight.She was surrounded by her team mates ,caught in a group hug,she did not recall how afraid she had been a few minutes ago...
she just could not!
i call her a hero.

the sportsman

this is a true story.this is not my story but perhaps mine for the telling.
here it is...
he could not think beyond his sport , a young boy hardly ready for the world plunged himself headlong in his passion .

in the morning he woke up with not a thought in his head but that of his sport...in the afternoon ,sun or rain, he remained on the field ...in the evening he worked on his physical fitness....and when he was exhausted,he fell on bed ...maybe he dreamt too of his sport.

he grew up to be a straight and a simple young man who believed in two values in life.one ,the power of hard work ,and two..the strength of determination...all around him were people ,friends ...team mates...sportsmen...coaches who were absolutely sure that here was a winner.

whenever he appeared on the field, he made headlines....absolute success was a hair's breadth away...or so it seemed.

the more he was disappointed,the harder he worked...
the harder he worked,the closer seemed his aim...
the closer seemed his aim,the more dedicated he was...
the more dedicated he was,the more focused he became...
the more focused he was,the more disappointed he was...
it was a roller coaster and there was no getting off for him.

till the ride crashed and his hopes dashed to ground and his dreams shattered as if they never were.

plunged in despair,he swore never again to pick up a ball.
but without his passion he could never be who he was.
everyday was misery ,every night a nightmare.
frustration tore at him ,anger clawed at him.
hard work did not work...and life is not fair..
he learnt these two lessons in the classroom that is life.

he stayed caught in utter despair.however ,since he had always thought that for him life was cricket and cricket all life,he could not remain away...

it took a lot of courage....to lace up his spiked shoes and get back to what he loved best...
he did it...
i call him a winner.

why i write about courage...

'the world speaks to me in pictures,
my soul answers in(music) writing....'
tagore again..

this day today reminded me of a memory so far unwritten,never unremembered but never written...
it was this way...

in this most practical world of trivial pursuits and monetary considerations ,there lived a poetic soul... more in the flight of her dreams than in the firmness of the terra firma , more in the goodness of her deeds than in the reality of the outcomes ,more in the joy of her smiles than in the pain of her existence.

her very existence was pain,she suffered from one of the most crippling diseases ever known to mankind ,and she knew she would never be cured...every day she would go through the prescribed exercises with firm fortitude , everyday she would take her pain killers to begin her day...but she began her day with a smile for her loved ones and a kind word for all who knew her.

all through the day ,she had a multitude of visitors ,some brought her cares that she cared enough to share ,some brought troubles that she would halve with a word of encouragement...and she sent away everyone with a song in their hearts and a feeling that there wasn't much that was wrong with this world....and whatever was wrong could be fixed with a do-it fix-it-forget-it attitude,all one needed was a little courage and someone to believe in you.

she was that someone...and she taught me all i know about courage...love and faith.
she is not with me today...but she is still with me.
every act of courage makes me believe again...
so i write.

i am who i am

i am who i am
you can accept me...you can reject me
that remains your preference ,prerogative ,prejudice...as you choose
you can like me,dislike me ,love me or hate me
i have no say in the matter
i choose to have no say in the matter yet i choose to remain who i am
not change ,ever...unless i choose to...

So thought Sneha ,after another bitter row ...in fact two substantial rows ,
first with her mother in the morning and later with her boyfriend in the
afternoon.

Her mother had a straight forward request(so she said) ,she like (almost)
all mothers did not approve of her sweet little daughter who was not so little
any more to go around with this guy.There was no reason for her disapproval ,
at least none that she would share with her daughter.Sneha's mother had
taken to snide taunts ,oblique references and was leading to a full fledged showdown.....saying in various ways that she did not love her mother(who
loved her so much)

Could love be a bargaining point? could love be so selfish?
The mornings row was simply a step towards that.
Well she thought...so be it!

Her boyfriend was quite a trendy and a smart guy(so he believed),
he like (almost)all boys did not approve of his sweet virginal girlfriend
who was not so keen to go all the way with him.There was no reason
for him to press her to enter a physical relationship with him at once ,at
least none that he could convince her with.Sneha's boy friend had taken
to snide taunts ,oblique references and was leading to a full fledged showdown....implying in various ways that she did not love him(he who
loved her so much)
The afternoon row was simply a step towards that.

Could love be so manipulative? Could love be so selfish?
So be it...she thought..the bottom line is that i know my mind ,i know what i want,what i can live with....i know who i am..

Ready for showdown(s)...she sure was!

sometimes just being true to one's own needs ,nature and convictions needs a whole lot of courage...

Especially with mothers & boyfriends!

a hero....poetically...

today i quote the ace poet tagore as i read ....i thought i would write love's words in their own colour;but that lies deep in the heart and tears are pale

would you knowthem friend ,if the words were colourless?

i thought i would sing love's words to their own tune ; but they sound only in my heart and words are pale

 would you know them friend ,if there were no tune?

read tagore....read poetry...

growing up..

This is a true story.This is not my story but as it unfolded i was a silent witness to the pain and agony.

In another step life as he knew it would cease to be .
In another moment he would be giving up all the joy in his life .
In another moment he would be married...

His life could have been a simple ,happy and an easy one..

A happy well to do family , parents who cared for him , friends who loved him and looked up to him , a wide choice of colleges ,careers , cars for him to choose from.He knew that his life was going to be as happy as content and as simple as it was always meant to be.He had chosen his path in all the significant ways.One was his work , the second was his life.One was his profession , the other his soul mate.
He was the chosen one of fortune.

It wasn't to be.

When he began to understand himself and the world around him , he understood that his life was a wonderful one but it demanded something from him.That very moment he began to work hard .Once he made up his mind...well, his mind was made up and his chosen profession was within his grasp.Now his life ..

There was this girl who had always been part of his life.She was his friend , his very best friend, no , not really a friend , she was always more than a friend.A girlfriend , not really,because she was always more than that .She was his soul mate..always and forever.Was there ever a doubt that they would not spend their life together?

Not even a stranger who had stepped into the charmed world that these two inhabited for a split second could have ever guessed in their wildest imagination that these would separate, to go out in the world their separate ways! Yet it was so..he asked she refused .Angry ,torn , alone ,confused, he acted out of a deep need to act .It would be a farewell to his soul...

Here ,he stood ready to take that irrevocable step.To marry another,he needed to gather all the courage within his grasp.So he did ..and so it was done.
An immense farewell...an immense courage.

This is a true story.

This is not my story but it was told to me.

Life was a battle for Ayesha . Her home her battlefield ,her lover her enemy.

Every single day she was battered ,bruised ,and beaten.Every single evening she was asked forgiveness.Every single day she decided to do something drastic....like walking out .....an overdose of pills...running away .Every single night she decided to give him one more chance.



It was the worst face of violence ever turned towards a woman ,the man she trusted most ,and loved most was the one who hurt her most.She was a person who held a good job .She was a capable and a competent woman.Educated , and apart from that a professional success.

The man she was living with had his own concern.He was a trader.He would come home earlier than she would and then sit an brood....Where is she ?what is she doing? who is she with?

By the time she would put her key in the lock ,he would have driven himself to a frenzy.

She would be the recipient of the worst kind of emotional abuse...She preferred to stay quiet.

The quieter she was ,the more abusive he would be.



He would monitor all her calls.He would ask questions that would turn her life inside out.

The worst were the weekends.He would begin with an apparently innocent question and at her answers ,beat her black and blue.And instead of life getting simpler and falling into a livable or bearable pattern ,her life fell into a pattern of violence ,degradation and sheer stark desperation.She had chosen this man against the wishes of her family , her friends ,they were all now alienated from her .None visited ,none called .Earlier she had shunned them all ,and now they shunned her.He drove all good things away .He drove all good feelings away.He drove all good people away.Alone ,battered ,emotionally and physically,Ayesha lay in a stupor.

The worst of the beating sessions had been interrupted by her losing consciousness and by the ringing of the doorbell.The maid had rung the bell .The maid called the doctor ,she knew the number by heart by now.she also knew that it would again be something innocuous as slipping in the bathroom or falling down the stairs that the doctor would be told and believe....

This time she had to be taken to the clinic...
She lay on the bed numb with pain , numb with rage.
This will stop ,she promised herself...she promised her unborn child too.She had just been told that she was pregnant.She would not bring up a child in the hell that she lived in.
Moving like quicksilver,she asked for the doctor,to sign her discharge slip.
Her child will be born in a home ,that would be safe... will be brought up by the single parent....
a divorced career woman ,who would love her and cherish her...she swore to herself .

it isn't easy but one must try!

it isnt easy but one must try.
Everyone called him Fatty...accent wallahs called him Fatz...desi ones called him Mottu.
All ,with the one exception ,that is his mother ,who said he was pleasantly plump ,that's all.
He was popular because he was friendly and he was funny.
He was also popular because he didn't mind if his pals poked fun at him ,he thought it went with the territory...of being overweight.
He was also popular because he was always ready to pay
...at the canteen...
at the coffee shop..
at Mcdonalds.

He was ok with his life.It had always been this way.Since he had always been the butt of all jokes ,he thought that it was the way to be and never would he feel bad about it.In fact he was the one to laugh the loudest .He was ,in short a jolly good fellow ,albeit an oversized one!He smiled at the worst of jokes,sometimes he laughed aloud and sometimes he cracked jokes at his own expense which went a long way to prove what a good natured fellow he was.

Good natured , he was but he was also a sensitive person who hated this public persona that he had built up so meticulously...and maintained so scruplously.After all it gelled with his image...a jolly fellow..a funny guy...the court jester!

He dreamt of being a regular guy ,just like the others .He dreamt of walking in a regular store and buying stuff off the racks like any other regular guy.He dreamt of being with girls and not being their best friend but an object of desire for them.He dreamt and then took a look in the mirror which showed him the reality of who he was ,he got depressed and walked to the fridge and ate all that was in sight to alleviate his depreesion.The depression did not move an inch but the weighing scale did ..up and still up.

It was sad ...here was a perfectly smart and intelligent guy trapped by his body image ,into thinking that he was a funny fellow just because he was overweight.It was sadder that he had no idea that what made him unhappy was this ...this deep place in his heart that hurt when someone laughed at him or worse ,when he laughed at himself.

After spending a really nasty time during a social event along with his friends who were just a bit too cruel that day , he came home,refusing to talk to anyone. He wanted to be left alone and nothing else.Later when all his family was in bed , he cried.He cried as if it was the end of the world.He cried as if he would never laugh again.
He cried ....and cried.

Then he got up to raid the fridge.He ate as if it was his last meal.He ate as if he would never eat again.He binged for a week.Then he felt ill, promptly.A week...ill..at home...so called friends ...visiting...calling..just to poke fun at him!

He would show them all.He would.
Yes!
Will power was a fire that burnt in him.
No more would anyone poke fun at him...Not again ..never again.Each day that was brought a new resolve,each night brought a new determination.Diet plan,work outs ,jogging and gym took the place of burgers,pizzas and lounging in front of the TV.

Some days were bad...others worse... but he stuck on.Stick on ,he did.Whatever it took ,he stuck on.No amount of teasing could deflect him,no kind of food could tempt him.He needed to lose this weight and find himself.

It will take some time but he would be who he was meant to be....a winner.

He was a quiet guy...

its a true story.
its not my story.
i was a witness to this story.
Samay ,that is his name.They called him Silent Sam.
He was what you would call a quiet guy , quite a quiet guy , a quite quiet guy....
whichever way one may put it.
Silent Sam would be silent in the classes and out of the classes.He was silent when he was with friends and when he was without friends.He was silent at school and he was silentat home.
So silent that people took him to be dumb.
Dumb....he wasn't....in any possible connotation of the word.
When he was younger , he was a bit hesitant... a bit shy...as a result a bit quiet.
When he was growing up people began to perceive him to be a person who would have nothing to say,he went along with this perception.

He was smart and intelligent.He would not be the one to tom tom about it.Those who grew to be close to him and came to know him well knew that he had a voice , he had the words and he had the wits to employ those words as when needed.

Those who did not know him well persisted in calling him Silent Sam.
Those who did not know much persisted in believing him dumb.
One of his teachers led the thought..
She railed and ranted against him.
When she couldn't do that ,then she would scold him.
When she couldn't scold him ,she would make fun of him.
She was nasty to him when there was a reason ,when there wasn't a reason then she was nastier.
Never once did he react.
True to his name ,he was silent.
One fine day , for reasons best known to her ,she proposed his name ...to speak in public.
Suddenly .Without a moments notice.
His friends felt bad.They knew that he would not be able to say a word.They saw that he will be publicly humiliated.
Will he ever recover?
The hall was as silent as a tomb.
He had been so sweet and sensitive all his life that he had many friends and others who wished him well.
Then he spoke.Spoke ,he did.
So well ...so wonderfully well.
His voice was a deep baritone .The audience was spellbound.
One word ...it took just one word to challenge his self respect.....to ignite all that was within him. And it took just one word to shed his shyness forever.
Sam spoke and all were silent.
As i said earlier ,he was a quite a guy!!
Or did i say ...he was a quiet guy!!
The heart of the matter is that courage speaks....always.

the most difficult words...

the easiest word are always the most difficult to say.

sometimes our mind plays games with us making them the most difficult ones.

sometimes our ego stands in our way.

sometimes we refuse to listen to our heart.

on our tongue,the easiest words stay

unspoken and unacknowledged

till the moment for them passes away

and they no more are easy

but the most difficult to say...

especially when one is in love...

as Rahul was...



Rahul is a young man much in love and is ready to do anything to make his girl the happiest on this earth.Anything.

He spends many moments , minutes ,hours thinking about what she would like,where can he take her on a date,and most important of all how to make her smile.

For she is not smiling at the moment.No ..not at all....in fact she doesn't even wish to see his face no...never.

He loves her.She hates him.



There is a reason.Sure...there is a very valid reason.

He was out of line with her and then out of temper and then lost it .

Totally...first his temper and then his girl.

Girls have a lot of patience and laughter ,when they are with the man they love they also have a lot of understanding.But one thing no self respecting girl will put up with, and that is,rudeness.



Rudeness is a strict NO - NO.
Being rude to your beloved is declasse and downmarket.Not only is it in bad taste , it also is poor in plan!Now Rahul either had no basic sense or no control on his temper , or he had not known that girls are known to turn volatile and violent if you are unforgivably rude to them in the middle of an anniversary celebration, specially if it is your own anniversary !
He was boorish , and loud and stupid.Boorish and loud in his action ...and stupid
in consequence.

As a result he sat alone , on his anniversary , contemplating the futility of life ,coupled with the enormity of the bill he would have to pay for the expensive meal that was largely untouched except for a glass of wine that sat upturned on his head embellishing his forehead and adding colour to his shirt.

Now what?The future loomed in front of him , a future so stark that it terrified him and a life so empty that it filled him with dread.
No way out but one...
An apology...
Apologising to miss thunder clouds would be the bravest deed he had accomplished in all his life...but he better!
He got up with his mind made up...

family comes first !

Sincere,smart,sophisticated...
that 's one way to describe him ;
ambitious,successful,practical....that is another way to describe him;
a good son ...this is perhaps the best way to describe him..
let me call him Sean.

Sean worked hard at his profession , as he had studied all these years , with determination and dedication.It had been a while since he had lazed away an afternoon or went pubbing with friends.It had been sometime since he had done anything for pure fun.He had spent quite a lot of time doing the right and the sensible that he sometimes felt older than his years.

Yet there was something in his life that gave him nothing but joy.
A girl...someone so right for him that even he was amazed ...someone so sweet that he wanted to do more for her than he had ever done for anyone else...someone who brought a smile to him even when there was nothing to smile about.

Working was a pleasure when she was around, and life was easier too.He laughed more and easily ,she brought him closer to his youth and his true self.In short it was a good relationship.A relationship that would have worked had it been allowed to flourish and bloom.Now Sean was a good son and a responsible family man.His first priority lay towards his family.He wanted to be what he already was...sincerely respectful of the wishes of his family.

Till now it had been an easy task....suddenly it was not so easy.
His family and his girl did not get along...no ...not in the long run.His family was not comfortable with the idea of his being with this girl forever.It was an unresolved conflict within the confines of his mind , it was a painfull dillemma within his heart , it was a searing torture within his soul.On one hand were the wishes of those he had loved all his life , on the other was the love of the one he loved as much he loved life....

However he knew that he could not be selfish and think of himself ,first....he who had always believed that family comes first...
She would be a memory locked deep in his heart...
She would be his ....just to remember...

soul mates....no more..

soul mates no more....no more soul mates , by choice and by design.

soul mates , for the want of an exact word , because there is no word that describes them.


They were not friends ,no ,not really.No .They were not friends. Their station in life separated them.Age separated them.Experience separated them.Somehow....however they had been able to understand each other across the barriers of age ,gender and biases that society imposes upon all.


He could not easily recall a time when he and his soul mate had not been together.

He could hardly recall a waking moment when she had not been with him physically or in his thoughts.


She had always had this uncanny ability to read his mind .When he felt low ,she could cheer him up with a silly story.When he felt bad ,she could make him smile in spite of all that was not going his way.When he was on top of the world ,she was his cheering squad.When he was successful,she could say a wise word and make him find a the right perspective.

She found it easy to believe in him and he found it easier to bring all her beliefs to fruition.

She found it possible to dream dreams for him and he found it possible to dream the same dreams along with .

It was a unique equation.It was a strange understanding....

A beautiful relationship , in fact it was so unique that no one apart from these two would ever understand it.Even these two did not understand it.

They were not lovers.They were not friends.They were not even related.

They were ...probably not even aware of a need to classify their relationship.

The need was not theirs but of the other people.

Other people...


Other people , his people ,her people , his family , her family ,his friends , her friends ,his acquaintances , her acquaintances...all had the odd curious question .There was no way that an odd curious question would ever have an impact on a relationship that followed no pattern , no social pattern that is.Most of the times these two would talk about all inconsequential things and have a marvellous time , at other times they would talk about the most profound of problems and find easy answers just by talking to each other.Sometimes this conversation would not last more than a minute or two but would suffice.Sometimes they would talk for three hours incessantly yet have a lot to listen to.


Life was fun.. enjoyment and not too tough because each of them was sure that the other would offer support whenever needed without a question asked , without a moments hesitation.Yet they may not even talk to each other for many days ,or they may need to speak to each other every few minutes.Even after weeks of silence there was no awkwardness and no distance...no apology and no explanation.

Life was an experience to be savoured and to be shared..communication was the key..



However , there was a problem .There was a big problem.In fact there was a huge problem.

The problem was simple.Huge but simple. People...most people ....almost all people are scared of all things that are beyond their comprehension . His girl could neither comprehend nor understand this one part of her man's heart.The troubled girl tried and tried again....
but she failed... and she failed again.

The scared girl knew he was not a false man but she also felt that he was not true to her.



This happened once,and this happened again.

This should not have happened.

So that this may not happen again... a choice had to be made.
A choice that would put things in an easy defined platform.
A choice that had to be made.
A choice that said clearly...soul mates no more....
A choice made,a decision taken..

Easier said than done...love comes first!

Sincere,smart,sophisticated...that 's one way to describe him ;ambitious,successful,practical....that is another way to describe him;a good son ...this is perhaps the best way to describe him..let me call him Sean.Sean worked hard at his profession , as he had studied all these years , with determination and dedication.It had been a while since he had lazed away an afternoon or went pubbing with friends.It had been sometime since he had done anything for pure fun.He had spent quite a lot of time doing the right and the sensible that he sometimes felt older than his years.Yet there was something in his life that gave him nothing but joy.A girl...someone so right for him that even he was amazed ...someone so sweet that he wanted to do more for her than he had ever done for anyone else...someone who brought a smile to him even when there was nothing to smile about.Working was a pleasure when she was around, and life was easier too.He laughed more and easily ,she brought him closer to his youth and his true self.In short it was a good relationship.A relationship that would have worked had it been allowed to flourish and bloom.Now Sean was a good son and a responsible family man.His first priority lay towards his family.He wanted to be what he already was...sincerely respectful of the wishes of his family.Till now it had been an easy task....suddenly it was not so easy.His family and his girl did not get along...no ...not in the long run.His family was not comfortable with the idea of his being with this girl forever.It was an unresolved conflict within the confines of his mind , it was a painfull dillemma within his heart , it was a searing torture within his soul.On one hand were the wishes of those he had loved all his life , on the other was the love of the one he loved as much he loved life....
How could he deny love , and a love that was life itself.A love that was the happiness within his soul , a love that was his identity and his desire ,both.
His parent would come around to his way of thinking...and even if they did not , he could not give up his life to a false sense of sacrifice and family duty.

Truth came first....love came first.

..and then there was one...

Vanya had always been a happy - go - lucky girl.A smile on her lips and a song in her heart ...that was Vanya.She grew into a charming women ,and never did she lose her smile or her song.Always a kind word on her lips , life too was kind to her.
One fine day , in fact , not so fine a day, life stopped being kind to her.She had been married for some years now .Her husband was her soul mate and helpmate.Her family loved her ,actually she was fairly easy to love ,so they had an easy task,loving her.The only thing that made her feel unfulfilled was her desire for motherhood.
Vanya set her mind to alter the state of things.She wanted a baby of her own to love , to cherish and to nurture.She had all her mothering instincts honed ,she was a natural mother.Yet nature did not mean her to be a mother.The doctors , in plural ,one after the other told her that it was not to be.Even in world teeming with medical advancement and fertility clinics , there was no possibility that Vanya would ever be a mother.
Her husband told her to move on with life ,there were other significant things in life ,other than being a mother ,that is! Her family was sympathetic but they also led busy lives that did not permit too much time to be sympathetic.Her friends tried all they could to divert her.All those who loved her rallied around her.Yet all she wanted was a baby to love ,to cherish and to nurture.
Vanya held her wish close to her heart.
Not for a moment did she take her dreams as one to be given up , not for a moment did she consider that it was fate or luck or life.And not for a moment did she believe that she had no control over her destiny.She was down but not out .It was a setback but one to be demolished.
And she wondered how....
She thought...
Adoption was the key...the magic word...
Yet her very soul mate of a husband opposed her, and her loving family opposed her and her staunch friends had nothing significant to say.It was her battle,hers alone.
Days passed .Weeks passed.Months passed.Each day she would bring up the topic closest to her heart as if it was a novel idea.She was determined to be understood.
She spoke with the conviction she felt so strongly.
Everyday.
Every single day.
Her perseverance was a constant......and her determination unflagging ....and her conviction true.....her persistance paid off .....
One day finally there was no resistance to her idea , a few days later this idea was not new or strange to anyone because all those who loved her knew that she was going to be a mother.
Soon.
Without the traditional period of nine months.
She would adopt...a baby not of her womb but of her heart and her soul.
Adoption...the magic word....abracadabra...
and there was her baby!
and here she was...a mother.

a question of education...sam's story!

Sam was scared.He was only seventeen.He was bright and smart.He was good at school.All his techers said so....so did his parents...so did his friends...and all those who knew him...He had already mentally prepared himself for an academician life to co - exist with a sportsman's life.

He had planned to enroll in one of the most prestigious colleges and graduate with honours.All his family knew this .All his friends knew this.He had always been quite a clear minded person .He knew what he wanted out of life and he knew how to get about it.



At least ,he had thought he knew.



Now it was through a sudden twist of fate that all his plans lay in ruins.The result of the public exam that he had appeared in ..right in front of his eyes.It was terrible.Something had gone terribly wrong.His grades was bad...just too bad.

He would not be going to a college of his choice and he would not be preparing for a life of pure academia...he had no idea what he was going to do......he had a dark bleak future spread out all around him.....like the dark bleak night....In fact he did not know how he would survive the night and what new horror would the next day bring to him .And the future ...it seemed dark...dark and bleak.

Through out the night one thought chased the other ,none of them good,none of the offering hope,he sat still ruling out one possibility after the other...
he could not go abroad or away...he had a sick mother to care for
he could not write his exams again...it was too much of a chance
he could continue his study the way he wanted to...it was out of his reach.

He began to think all that he had...a bright and a sharp mind...amazing communication skills....organizational ,management and entrepreneurial skills...

the long night was over...he would go into business...he would earn money...lots of it ...and he did!

promises and lies

It couldn't have happened again.
And it couldn't have happened to her again.
She felt like a fool.
Rather she was a fool.
On this beautiful evening , she stood at the Priya PVR feeling like an absolute fool.Stood up ...once again!
Annie is a smart girl ,also a sweet one ,she has a voice of her own and she has always been able to speak her mind.She has also been able to ask for her rights whether it was with her family or with her friends.She was always where the action was . Always popular and outspoken ,she fell in love the way she had always done everything ,totally and whole heartedly.

The guy she fell for was altogether an amazing one....but he was outside her realm of understanding.

Annie had a loving heart.Now it was more than a loving one ,it was jealous and possessive too.
When he was with her she wanted to know what he was thinking ,when he wasn't with her she wanted to know where ,with whom ,till when , and most difficult of all why...He hated to answer all these questions ,he was in a relationship and not a victim of the Spanish inquisition.
Sometimes he would feel claustrophobic and hemmed in ,at such times ,he did not take calls from her ,she grew desperate and he grew equally adamant.

Then finally the axe fell.
He could not take any more of being questioned.
He wanted out...
if she does not trust me ,she does not love me ...if she does not love me ,she has no business being with me...i m not doing anything wrong....i cant tolerate a relationship such as this.
Annie felt heartsick and heart sore ,she knew she was at fault but he had driven her to this .She wanted him badly.....she wanted him at any cost...she wanted him period.She pleaded and cried ,she cried and pleaded ; if they could be just friends...
He relented ,after all this was the girl he had cared for deeply ,not so long ago.Probably they could be friends.
He agreed ,even agreed to meet her for a coffee.But something urgent came up ,he could not make it.She had to go there and wait and wait some more . Then wait and then come back home.Again she suggested something ,again he agreed ,again he did not turn up.She could not keep on suggesting more dates and they were not even dates since they were no more together.But she couldn't give up.
Yesterday night she had called him again and miraculously he had taken her call.They had decided to take in a movie...a matinee....and now it was 4.15 pm.She had been waiting for over a good one hour.
She knew he was not on his way.
She knew he did not want her.
She knew that she will never call him again. ...ever again.
It was over.
At last.

second chance

All Jahnavi needed was love.All jahnavi wanted was love.All she was ever denied was love.
She was a daughter in a household full of daughters.Unfortunately she was a daughter in a household which had far too many daughters too appreciate any ,and far too fed up of them to love them.
Her parents did their duty by her.They provided for her , ensured she was well-fed,well-clothed and received a good education ,a good dowry and a good husband ...and that too in this very order.They could not do more.
It was her desire for something more that hurt her constantly.Her husband was a nice man who did his duty by her.He provided for her ,ensured she was well looked after.He could not do more.He wasn't capable of offering more.She was growing quieter and sadder by the day,by the hour ,by the minute.She knew not why.
The marriage fell into discord and dissatisfaction.
There was a mutual growing away.The husband took it as a routine matter,the wife broke her already fragile heart over this.
At this point in her life when she was gaining momentum rolling downhill to an imminent crash,She was halted in her tracks by someone who cared..
She met a man.He loved her.He wanted her.He suffered when she suffered.He would walk a thousand miles to put a smile on her face.Jahnavi was loved....for the very first time in her life she was loved passionately,fiercely and the way she knew that she deserved to be loved..in her heart of hearts.
A decision awaited her.It weighed on her heart, on her mind and her soul.It weighed on her conscience..Her parents would never forgive her bringing the scandal of a divorce to their neat life.Their love she had never known but now she would forfeit her right to their concern too.She was scared , afraid and frightened.
However she knew all this.But she knew one thing more.
She knew that this man was her only chance at life , his love was the only path to her destiny.
Jahnavi would move out of her arid desert of a life to a fulfilling love...

winner takes all

A true story...not mine but mine to narrate.
Aayan was what one would call a difficult person....but with a sense of humour.
Humour was his shield.It was his armour and his weapon too.When life served him a tough question he answered it with a joke.And since life served him many tough questions there were many a times when he found it convenient to laugh aloud...and laugh he did.People as is a habit with them did not understand.They judged him ,quick and fast ,and gave him no reprieve.

So he became the bad guy.

He came from a family with a troubled past .He had been very young at that time and his indulgent mother and sisters shielded him from all that was disturbing.They wanted to give the world to him on a platter.So certain things came easy ,Yet others were difficult.There was no balance in his world.With such a childhood ,he grew to a rebellious adolescence.With such an adolescence he grew to a disturbed adulthood.

Disturbed in the sense that he never had a clear picture of his strengths ever.

Ambitious but gravely suspicious of his own ambition , he found a mediocre job and tried to settle down to an existence of the average middle class contentment and comfort.He failed.

In abject throes of misery ,because he did not know what ailed and troubled him, he grew more frustrated with each passing day.However there was no way out.It was the only job that did not need higher qualifications.His laughter turned against himself ,he had never understood the value of academics..scoffing at it all !But his job.... it was just a job not a career.It was not going to take him places.It was not even giving him satisfaction...just a pay packet .He needed it.So he could not leave his job.Not that he did not try ,he did, but after some even more frustrating time spent at home ,he took up another .The other job was too similar to his previous one to satisfy.All hiss inner nature rebelled against bowing and scraping all day long to people who were either rude or indifferent.

Caught in a vicious circle,he grew angrier...with himself and with the deal this world had offered him!

He thought of extreme measures.

He would now work at this mind -numbing job.He would reach home tired,whenever possible ,he immersed himself in drink.His life would be easy if he could control that mind of his which kept on telling him that this is not for you......even when he was bone tired and unable to think,he knew that there was something missing from his life .That he was being unjust to himself.That the only way out of his misery was to give up the easy life he knew and to begin from the scratch .His struggle was not over ....it was about to begin.
He began to sort out his thoughts,started work on the project that he had always wanted to.He knew that he would be courting difficulties and hard ships.But he had always wanted to work for himself...to be an entrepreneur.
The next day he wrote his resignation .
Risk would be his destiny,challenge his life.

He had never learnt the difference between possible hopes and impossible dreams.
i call him a winner.

overcoming EGO !

He knew he was a compromise candidate.


The way the selection committee had been divided was clear.Two members were clearly backing the one they had brought in ,two were neutral but they did not want to say anything just then , the other two had an obvious soft corner for him but they had to be scrupulously fair at all the times.The head of the committee seemed to have a regard for him but her attitude had more to do with the other candidates with whom she seemed less than impressed.




He knew he was capable of the post.

The way the selection committee was functioning it had not seem probable that they would reach a decision soon.Even if they did , it would not be acceptable to all of them.Even if all of them accepted it ,they would not be happy about it .Even if two of them would be happy about it ,the others would begrudge his success.And after all this this kind of discord would not allow him to function well.


He was confident of his abilities.

He was intelligent enough to take good decisions and diligent enough to follow through.

He could work at creating good vibes in his own sphere and he knew how to create popularity too.He could garner the support of his team and all those on which the results would depend.He could be a nice guy when he wanted to and he could be a tough guy when the circumstances demanded him to be one.



He knew at present it was not a question of his capabilities .

It was a more a question of what was going to be acceptable to all the members of the selection committee.It was also a question of his not being everyones' absolute and final choice.The problem lay with those people who were now debating behind closed doors.He could guess at what was being said and debated.The problem also lay with him.


He knew that the problem also lay with him.

He hated the word compromise.He did not like the fact that the committee was composed of an equal number of people fairly divided by their like and an equal dislike for him.He could overcome their prejudices if given a chance .But how would he overcome his own pride?



His one failing was his own ego which ruled him strongly.

If they chose him ,would he like be chosen? Would he like to work with those who had no high opinion of him?Would he be able to take the put downs ...the snide comments....the disregard?

He had always had a very strong sense of his own dignity...his pride in his achievements.

Would he be able to overcome opposition the most...and indifference at the very least ?And most important of all would he be able to overcome his own ego?




He wondered as he waited .

He waited for an eternity , or was it only till the announcement of their final choice was made.

But he knew that his decision would have to be made before that door opened and the selection was made.The battle within his mind raged .He was torn between the acceptance because that would mean that he would have to work with people who had initially rejected him and refusal because that would mean that he was conceding the victory to those who had said that he was incapable...a loser.




His pride and ego would have to go.

He reconstructed his self ...piece by piece .Overcoming ego was the toughest thing he had ever done .But he did it.He was not going to be a loser.The door opened.

He lifted up his head to hear his name being announced...

the first hello!

Tall , smart and handsome ; Aryan seemed to have everything.
Sophisticated , sensitive and stylish ; Aryan was a delight.
He was talented and bright.A great sense of humour livened up things wherever he went.

Years ago he had moved away and had rejoined his old school after a few years .
Not only it was a an educational change for him ,it was also a culture shock ! He was not really used to so many rules and regulations.He began to break some of them and challenge those who had imposed them .It was simply for the want of anything better to do.When he was reprimanded ,he began to feel hurt ;to counter his feeling hurt ,he began to create a distance between himself and other people .He was also not used to such a void in his life that was a result of the lack of music in his life.In his last school he had been the member of a rock band.

Music fulfilled him.It was part of his identity ...who he was.
Now without music he was lost.He became quiet an introvert keeping withinhis circle of close friends.He became less confident of his own self.He did not want any more to expose his innermost feelings to anyone so this sensitive young boy cloaked his true nature behind a veil of aloofness.He lived with his new self for such along time that he began to feel comfortable in his new skin.

Aryan was truly a star but he hid his brilliace from everyone.... including himself !
A boy whose greatest pleasure once lay in being onstage and playing the drums began to fear being on stage.It was such a gradual change that no body saw it or commented on it.Even those closest to him took his laidback nature for granted.He took an interest in everything but from a distance.....emotional ,physical & intellectual distance.Even this way he could not turn himself in a nobody.The twinkle in his eye and the shyness of his spontaneous grin would act like a magnet !

Even now he was popular and well liked.He was pushed again and again to take centre stage.
One fine day he realized that he was to speak a few words on the stage.He was ok till he realised that he was afraid to hold the mic and say those few words .Ironic...the boy who could once hold an audience enthralled could not now even hold a mic!

Public speaking is a brave thing ...always.But this time it was even a braver thing as this teenager fought against his very own personal hesitations and mind blocks .He understood that he had travelled a long distance and lost the sense of his true self.From that day he began the journey that he was to undertake to regain his own confident and live-wire self.
Aryan took the first step .He went walked to the center of the stage , picked up the mic and spoke.....his first hello to his new self!
He would go on to speak ....sing ...and play his beloved drums too...

to propose or not to propose!

Vivan was in love.Vivan wanted to propose to the girl of his dreams.Vivan was scared as scared could be.


He was what one would call a late bloomer.When the boys his age were experiencing the first jolt of their hormones and calling it love for want of a better word, he was experiencing the same feelings ,but he was experiencing them for his first desk top.When boys his age were learning to live with their hormones and experimenting with what they called relationships ,for the want of a word they knew;he was learning the joys and wonders of modern technology.When boys his age were learning to differentiate between love and lust ,he was enjoying learning to differentiate between the subtle nuances of Linux and windows.


Since he was impervious to it all ,the adolescent roller coaster of teenage emotions generated by juvenile feelings passed him by.He grew up to be a young man who knew that the world was full of wonders that one can gaze at !


And wonder of all wonders ,as he began to gaze at the wonders all created by god ,as opposed to wonders created by man ,he realized that that the wonder of all wonders was woman.In fact ,it was one particular woman.


The better he knew her the more fascinated he was , and within a space of a few months he not only covered all the milestones that he had not ; in the last ten years and arrived at what he could classify as love.


Now what?


Vivan went through all his life experience.Nothing had prepared him for this.


He did not know what to do!


Suddenly all was spring ,he began to understand romantic melodies,that god had created every living being in pairs and here was his soul mate ,not looking at him.She looked but did not know all that passed within his heart.


He was plunged into sadness and found no way out.The only way out was to tell her how he felt.That was tough.Clammy palms and sweating brow never did stop a man from reaching his destination.This time it did.


The object of his desire felt that he had suddenly developed a fever and took him to a doctor like the good friend she was.The next day,he managed to find an opportunity again to talk to her .Unfortunately ,he had no romantic language,so his proposal seemed to be an offer for a job or probably a merger,since none of them were yet business tycoons , she offered to take him to a doctor...again! The third day he managed to corner her again ,however the office romeo butted in , and he flirted outrageously with the one he loved and he was ready to kick butt or run away.
Well ,he ran away.


Vivan acknowledged to himself that not only was he scared to speak his mind ,he was also most unprepared for what he could say or do to make the right kind of impact on her.The only thing that offered him comfort was his laptop ,his companion and friend.


Pulling his wits about him he began to compose the first romantic e mail of his life.He grinned as he hit the send button!

high school blues...

A high school , classes ,teachers , students , learning ,playing ...and ups and downs.

A high school senior ready to take his place in the world ,a keen sports man who wanted nothing more than to be his schools sports captain

....all his life has been a preparation for this goal, a building up towards this one moment, a dream that will come to life..

Passion ,ambition and adventure; these had been the keywords of Ryan ' s life.He wanted it all...

excitement ,recognition and success ,

but most of all he wanted to be the sports captain of his school!

He had dreamt of this almost all his life with expectation and enthusiasm,but sometimes his enthusiasm had taken him beyond the expectation of others and he had ended up doing things which were on the borderline of what was permissible ,so he had been sliding in and out of trouble .He had no idea what his teachers thought of him ,what the head teacher thought of him .He only had this idea that one day when he is a senior he will be the sports captain of his school.

The appointed day arrived.

He learnt that there were many black marks against him.

He also learnt that his past as a sports man did not make a difference.

He learnt that there are thing that he had never considered but others considered them significant enough.

He learnt that his desire and dream were to be shattered.

He learnt first hand about disappointment.

He learnt that he was not going to be the sports captain of his school.

Anger..raw burning anger tore his guts.He did not know what he did that day.

Then anger gave way to a desperation that was a raw wound within his heart.

Then the desperation settled into a dull throbbing pain of disappointed hopes.

Many days went by...so did nights.

A distinct sense of the unreality of it all was with him.

Life is exciting ....sometimes ;and sometimes disappointing.It is a roller coaster of events , a maelstorm of emotions.

Life presents itself in various ways.

What matters is how one reacts to the given situation.Ryan did not give up his belief in himself,he thought

if not this than there are many other ways in which i can be who i meant to be.'

He decided that it did not matter whether he had not attained his dream,

what mattered was that he had many other dreams to attain.

And he moved on...with life ,without giving up his unique enthusiasm for LIFE.

No one can make me a winner, i am one if i think i am '

and he knew it for true!

dare to be different !

Brought up in the the traditional way , in the midst of a loving and an old fashioned family , Sanya was growing up to be a sweet and kind young lady.A beautiful person both in thought and action , a friend who would be always there for her friends ,a daughter who would never do anything to hurt her family.
soon it was time for her to go out in the wide world and learn who she was and what she wanted.She began with her college ,she found enjoyment in the arena of higher studies as well as with a group of new friends who made learning with them so much fun!

And then there was this guy....her friend probably her best friend !
They had so much in common that they could spend hours just talking to each other about the least important things ;as easily they could share the toughest of life's problems.They could be more than friends...truly they could be soul mates.

But....it shouldn't be so .Because of reasons beyond them...family ,tradition ,community , society...

One fine day she faced this great dilemma which threatened her very peace.Her very best friend claimed more than friendship...in fact he wanted it all ....love..passion and a life together.This was a dilemma she had hoped never to face ,now not only she had to face it but resolve it too.

Each path is as difficult to take as the other one ;does she rebel against her family values to embrace a young man from a different religion to hurt her family or does she hurt this young man who feels that the sun rises not in the east but her eyes....

Will she make her heart listen to her soul and force her family to hear it too or will her love be a distant memory ...
both the decisions imply immense courage...

Chasing poverty!

Immensely talented and dedicated...yet the first thing one would notice about him is passion...
not just about his profession but about the state of the world that we live in.

To create that which is meaningful and true...to make a difference...to make a better living possible..not just for himself ,but for the world....
he is a man who holds a dream close to his heart.


A photographer by profession,an idealist by temperament;let me call him PS.

He has talent ,zeal & dedication.Three attributes that spell success in any language.

Success...as in cash and kind.....success as in a materialistic world..

.However he began to roam the world,working in the harshest of conditions ,most of them man made ,began to perceive the suffering and began to understand the global problems . He saw that we lived in a world in which half the people were suffering and the other half were not even aware of it.


This man would not be at rest.In spite of all his difficulties in his personal life,he persists in going to all the troubled and terrible places.Not just because it is a job like any other but because he has the courage of his conviction.He understands that the way out of all human problems lies in creating awareness and bringing information to the uninformed ,the uninitiated & the ignorant.He will do it.



Floods..earthquakes...fires....real human suffering draws him in order to find an expression.
in a world populated mainly by people who are in the rat race to earn cold cash ,here is man chasing poverty in order to make the earth a better place...
i call him a hero..

when the earth moved...

Chen tried to sit up ,she couldn't.She tried to stretch her arms ,she couldn't.She tried to move her feet ,she couldn't.She wanted to scream but she could hardly breathe.Her arms and legs were strangely twisted ;and they seemed to be pinned under her.Her one good eye was trying to make some sense out of the rubble and debris that were all around her.She could not recall what had happened for her to be here,trapped under the broken down roof of her school.It was her school...wasn't it?

She had woken up like any other day,got dressed and had gone to school...and after that....there seemed to be a gap in her memory.

The floor had shook and so had the walls...the windows had shook and so had the doors ...

before she had looked around for her friend,something had hit her and she could not breathe.

She had choked,she could hardly breathe now...

She was afraid..extremely afraid.

She began to cry...after a while when the tears had dried on her dirt streaked wounded face ..she began to think...she was hungry ,thirsty ,in excruciating pain...yet she thought of her mother and her little brother ...where would they be ? She hoped they were safe,she also hoped they were trying to find her.

She was scared but she tried to think of the things which would help her , she was sure there were people outside who were all right and who were looking for her.She knew her mother would not go home without her.She thought of last night 's dinner when she had teased her younger brother.

Chen remembered how she had been laughing at what the teacher had said in the morning.She thought how she would share this with her class....

She hoped she would be able to...she did not lose hope..and courage..
i call her a hero.

R E W I N D @ G U T S !

Jessica is a good scholar.She has good study habits.She is one of those people who study on their own with pleasure.She is comfortable with herself and her academic achievements....or i should say she was .At the moment she is apprehensive and scared.What brought her to this state is the past year...
The past one year was tough to say the least.She had appeared for her public exams ,handled them well ,scored well , appeared in her competitive exams .She is planning to be an engineer , not an easy task .It means two years of study , than appear in an exam to get into an institute .Than five years of study to earn a degree .Than two years of study to do specialisation.


Definitely not an easy task.But one she was all set for.However it did not happen. She failed to get in an institute of her choice .Now she realised that a vast ocean of indifference stretched between her and the rest of the world..they could not understand her feelings.She was alone, truly alone.When you succeed there are many to share in that success but when you fail ...You stand alone.She floundered in a quicksand of indecisiveness , loneliness and sheer desperation..


"tough luck "said her companions and moved on ,"part of life "said her parents and went about the business of day to day living ,"think of other options now "said her teachers and went about correcting new term papers....
"I will try again "said this determined girl and went about the difficult job of beginning from the scratch.
To try again....implies courage ,determination and will power...it also implies criticism from some derision from others...it also means having an unshakable belief in one's own vision and capabilities.Many a nights she was so scared of future that she could not sleep a wink ; many a days she was so wound up that she was unable to eat a bite .But give up...she would not!

She would not give up....she would not...and that's what makes her a winner in my book.
It does not matter how many times you fall down ,what matters is how many times you get up....for that is true courage !

memory!

She was a dreamer............a soft hearted-sentimental-sweet-sensitive dreamer .
He was a doer....a fast moving - practical minded - smart -sophisticated doer .
If opposites attract...than yes they did!They spent countless hours together ,talking and talking some more.She was fascinated...he was fascinating ; he was loved...she was loving.

He would speak about beautiful things,she would dream of them.He would speak of passion,she would feel it.He would speak of future , she would imagine it ,in wonder ful vivacious colors.However ,never did he make a promise...but she read so many of them in his not making of them!

It was not to be ,and it wasn't .

He moved on ... not a single tear shed ,the world was full of hearts which were not yet conquered ,he was being true to his own nature.

She could not go on ... not a single day dry-eyed , the world was full of memories which were not yet forgotten, she was being true to her own nature.

From here ,they went their different ways.His way was easy ,hers difficult.She cried for a few days,existed in a dream like state,gave way to day dreams that he would come back to her ,gave up those day dreams and broke her heart all over again.

Courage to live on..alone..find someone else with time..courage to heal herself...courage to forget ...and courage to forgive...to let go of the past ,to separate the good memories from the bad...to stop hurting and to start living..

courage to live with memories...she found it all...so i call her a hero.

the boy who had to grow up too early.

This is a true story.This is not my story but it affected me.Here was this boy ,stubborn,headstrong and somewhat spoilt .He was the centre of his family's existence.Doted on by a loving father,pampered by an adoring mother, cared for by all others.Let me call him Raoul.

He was loved and he knew it.He was the apple of his dad's eyes and he knew it.He was the darling of his mom and he knew it.He was growing up,safe & secure , in his world .When he wanted a toy , all he needed to do was ask!Sometimes not even ask..what would his parents not do just to see him smile.

Life was fun...life was a joy and life was easy!

Sadly ...not for long.

Suddenly all the love that he had known disappered.

The life he had known vanished.

He lost his father.. to a sudden death .

He lost his mother...in a manner of saying... to a terrible grief.

After a while his mother began to pick up the pieces of her life but it wasnt an easy job for her.Raoul felt lonely ,helpless and insecure.He would feel like this for months to come.....probably years.

Raoul gave in extreme temper tantrums..he was angry and violent with all the world...with god...with life itself.

Negativity & pessimism and a barely controlled temper were his constant companions.His mom would come out of her grief...look at him and would be heartbroken even more.

One day he came out of the haze..dazedness he was existing in since the day he had lost his father.For the first time in months he looked at his mother...that is really looked.What he saw shattered him even more....he spent the night thinking.

After a long look at his mother and a longer night two thoughts had taken possession of his mind.One, he would have to stop grieving ;two , he would have to star living...If he wanted the rest of his family to live too.

This would not only mean determination on his part but also

courage...an amazing amount of courage.

The next day it was time for a balanced , responsible and caring Raoul to wake up...and he did..

so i call him....a hero...

the boy who would not be disciplined...

This is a true story.

Not mine..but mine to tell...perhaps...

Martin had a deep contempt for all authority.He found release only in doing things that would flout authority.If a rule said that he should cut his hair short,he would grow them long.And if the same rule would be amended to say that he should have his hair long,he would go for a bald look!

A passionate sportsman... he loved to be out on the basketball court,and managed to stay there the whole day...well off course , he was supposed to be in class! But he would not be where he was supposed to be .

So there.He also asked a lot of questions...why was a favourite word.Now if there is one word that can rile parents ,teachers and adults alike is not the 'four letter word 'as you would assume but the three letter word-why.All his community was abuzz with the 'discipline' issues that surrounded him.He was punished often.The more he was reprimanded ,the more he rebelled.He collected the detention slips as other people collect CDs. A host of complaints followed him ,along with his friends and admirers.He s fairly articulate and had a lot to say..

I wont mess with anyone if they wont mess with me.why should i only do what i am told to do ? why can't i clearly object if i don't agree with something?why do i have to think according to others?

What if his issue was never discipline but individual thought which did not allow him to conform?What if his Mohawk was not an act of defiance but an act of individuality?

Martin went through a thorough self examination and looked into all the hidden nooks and corners of his heart.He knew his priorities now.Success , wealth ,a good life & happiness topped the list of his priorities .Discipline in his life would be prerequisite.

He made a choice....

learned a new life the first demand of which was discipline....

the boy who could not be disciplinedby coercion would be disciplined by choice!

He would join the merchant navy...by his own choice...he would be his own man...always.