a hero....poetically...

today i quote the ace poet tagore as i read ....i thought i would write love's words in their own colour;but that lies deep in the heart and tears are pale

would you knowthem friend ,if the words were colourless?

i thought i would sing love's words to their own tune ; but they sound only in my heart and words are pale

 would you know them friend ,if there were no tune?

read tagore....read poetry...

growing up..

This is a true story.This is not my story but as it unfolded i was a silent witness to the pain and agony.

In another step life as he knew it would cease to be .
In another moment he would be giving up all the joy in his life .
In another moment he would be married...

His life could have been a simple ,happy and an easy one..

A happy well to do family , parents who cared for him , friends who loved him and looked up to him , a wide choice of colleges ,careers , cars for him to choose from.He knew that his life was going to be as happy as content and as simple as it was always meant to be.He had chosen his path in all the significant ways.One was his work , the second was his life.One was his profession , the other his soul mate.
He was the chosen one of fortune.

It wasn't to be.

When he began to understand himself and the world around him , he understood that his life was a wonderful one but it demanded something from him.That very moment he began to work hard .Once he made up his mind...well, his mind was made up and his chosen profession was within his grasp.Now his life ..

There was this girl who had always been part of his life.She was his friend , his very best friend, no , not really a friend , she was always more than a friend.A girlfriend , not really,because she was always more than that .She was his soul mate..always and forever.Was there ever a doubt that they would not spend their life together?

Not even a stranger who had stepped into the charmed world that these two inhabited for a split second could have ever guessed in their wildest imagination that these would separate, to go out in the world their separate ways! Yet it was so..he asked she refused .Angry ,torn , alone ,confused, he acted out of a deep need to act .It would be a farewell to his soul...

Here ,he stood ready to take that irrevocable step.To marry another,he needed to gather all the courage within his grasp.So he did ..and so it was done.
An immense farewell...an immense courage.

This is a true story.

This is not my story but it was told to me.

Life was a battle for Ayesha . Her home her battlefield ,her lover her enemy.

Every single day she was battered ,bruised ,and beaten.Every single evening she was asked forgiveness.Every single day she decided to do something drastic....like walking out .....an overdose of pills...running away .Every single night she decided to give him one more chance.



It was the worst face of violence ever turned towards a woman ,the man she trusted most ,and loved most was the one who hurt her most.She was a person who held a good job .She was a capable and a competent woman.Educated , and apart from that a professional success.

The man she was living with had his own concern.He was a trader.He would come home earlier than she would and then sit an brood....Where is she ?what is she doing? who is she with?

By the time she would put her key in the lock ,he would have driven himself to a frenzy.

She would be the recipient of the worst kind of emotional abuse...She preferred to stay quiet.

The quieter she was ,the more abusive he would be.



He would monitor all her calls.He would ask questions that would turn her life inside out.

The worst were the weekends.He would begin with an apparently innocent question and at her answers ,beat her black and blue.And instead of life getting simpler and falling into a livable or bearable pattern ,her life fell into a pattern of violence ,degradation and sheer stark desperation.She had chosen this man against the wishes of her family , her friends ,they were all now alienated from her .None visited ,none called .Earlier she had shunned them all ,and now they shunned her.He drove all good things away .He drove all good feelings away.He drove all good people away.Alone ,battered ,emotionally and physically,Ayesha lay in a stupor.

The worst of the beating sessions had been interrupted by her losing consciousness and by the ringing of the doorbell.The maid had rung the bell .The maid called the doctor ,she knew the number by heart by now.she also knew that it would again be something innocuous as slipping in the bathroom or falling down the stairs that the doctor would be told and believe....

This time she had to be taken to the clinic...
She lay on the bed numb with pain , numb with rage.
This will stop ,she promised herself...she promised her unborn child too.She had just been told that she was pregnant.She would not bring up a child in the hell that she lived in.
Moving like quicksilver,she asked for the doctor,to sign her discharge slip.
Her child will be born in a home ,that would be safe... will be brought up by the single parent....
a divorced career woman ,who would love her and cherish her...she swore to herself .

it isn't easy but one must try!

it isnt easy but one must try.
Everyone called him Fatty...accent wallahs called him Fatz...desi ones called him Mottu.
All ,with the one exception ,that is his mother ,who said he was pleasantly plump ,that's all.
He was popular because he was friendly and he was funny.
He was also popular because he didn't mind if his pals poked fun at him ,he thought it went with the territory...of being overweight.
He was also popular because he was always ready to pay
...at the canteen...
at the coffee shop..
at Mcdonalds.

He was ok with his life.It had always been this way.Since he had always been the butt of all jokes ,he thought that it was the way to be and never would he feel bad about it.In fact he was the one to laugh the loudest .He was ,in short a jolly good fellow ,albeit an oversized one!He smiled at the worst of jokes,sometimes he laughed aloud and sometimes he cracked jokes at his own expense which went a long way to prove what a good natured fellow he was.

Good natured , he was but he was also a sensitive person who hated this public persona that he had built up so meticulously...and maintained so scruplously.After all it gelled with his image...a jolly fellow..a funny guy...the court jester!

He dreamt of being a regular guy ,just like the others .He dreamt of walking in a regular store and buying stuff off the racks like any other regular guy.He dreamt of being with girls and not being their best friend but an object of desire for them.He dreamt and then took a look in the mirror which showed him the reality of who he was ,he got depressed and walked to the fridge and ate all that was in sight to alleviate his depreesion.The depression did not move an inch but the weighing scale did ..up and still up.

It was sad ...here was a perfectly smart and intelligent guy trapped by his body image ,into thinking that he was a funny fellow just because he was overweight.It was sadder that he had no idea that what made him unhappy was this ...this deep place in his heart that hurt when someone laughed at him or worse ,when he laughed at himself.

After spending a really nasty time during a social event along with his friends who were just a bit too cruel that day , he came home,refusing to talk to anyone. He wanted to be left alone and nothing else.Later when all his family was in bed , he cried.He cried as if it was the end of the world.He cried as if he would never laugh again.
He cried ....and cried.

Then he got up to raid the fridge.He ate as if it was his last meal.He ate as if he would never eat again.He binged for a week.Then he felt ill, promptly.A week...ill..at home...so called friends ...visiting...calling..just to poke fun at him!

He would show them all.He would.
Yes!
Will power was a fire that burnt in him.
No more would anyone poke fun at him...Not again ..never again.Each day that was brought a new resolve,each night brought a new determination.Diet plan,work outs ,jogging and gym took the place of burgers,pizzas and lounging in front of the TV.

Some days were bad...others worse... but he stuck on.Stick on ,he did.Whatever it took ,he stuck on.No amount of teasing could deflect him,no kind of food could tempt him.He needed to lose this weight and find himself.

It will take some time but he would be who he was meant to be....a winner.

He was a quiet guy...

its a true story.
its not my story.
i was a witness to this story.
Samay ,that is his name.They called him Silent Sam.
He was what you would call a quiet guy , quite a quiet guy , a quite quiet guy....
whichever way one may put it.
Silent Sam would be silent in the classes and out of the classes.He was silent when he was with friends and when he was without friends.He was silent at school and he was silentat home.
So silent that people took him to be dumb.
Dumb....he wasn't....in any possible connotation of the word.
When he was younger , he was a bit hesitant... a bit shy...as a result a bit quiet.
When he was growing up people began to perceive him to be a person who would have nothing to say,he went along with this perception.

He was smart and intelligent.He would not be the one to tom tom about it.Those who grew to be close to him and came to know him well knew that he had a voice , he had the words and he had the wits to employ those words as when needed.

Those who did not know him well persisted in calling him Silent Sam.
Those who did not know much persisted in believing him dumb.
One of his teachers led the thought..
She railed and ranted against him.
When she couldn't do that ,then she would scold him.
When she couldn't scold him ,she would make fun of him.
She was nasty to him when there was a reason ,when there wasn't a reason then she was nastier.
Never once did he react.
True to his name ,he was silent.
One fine day , for reasons best known to her ,she proposed his name ...to speak in public.
Suddenly .Without a moments notice.
His friends felt bad.They knew that he would not be able to say a word.They saw that he will be publicly humiliated.
Will he ever recover?
The hall was as silent as a tomb.
He had been so sweet and sensitive all his life that he had many friends and others who wished him well.
Then he spoke.Spoke ,he did.
So well ...so wonderfully well.
His voice was a deep baritone .The audience was spellbound.
One word ...it took just one word to challenge his self respect.....to ignite all that was within him. And it took just one word to shed his shyness forever.
Sam spoke and all were silent.
As i said earlier ,he was a quite a guy!!
Or did i say ...he was a quiet guy!!
The heart of the matter is that courage speaks....always.