Wednesday, June 15, 2011

The reluctant hero.

"I am most definitely not a hero.A hero..I am not".
It so happened .. It was many years ago that a family waited
for the return ferry to take them back to Mumbai ,then Bombay.
They had spent the day exploring the Elephanta caves.
It had been a day full of laughter and happiness.
Tiring but fun.
The daughter of the family stood a bit apart..
the mother and son together as they looked back at the day.
Suddenly out of nowhere ..a big sturdy ferocious looking bull
charged..and went straight for the girl staring fascinated at
the sea..lost in her thoughts.
As suddenly her father ran to catch the bull by the very horns.
Everything hung in balance for the heartbeat of
that interminable minute.
And the bull was forced to change direction.
Everyone was safe..specially that little girl..
Courage.

goodbye :lyrics and chords: Airsupply

can see the pain living in your eyes
And i know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and i sympathize
And i'll never criticize all you've ever meant to my life


(chorus)
F#m-Bm-Em-A
I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong


( D-F#m-Bm-G-A7)
You would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but good-bye

( D-F#m-Bm-G-A7 )
You deserve the chance at the kind of love
I'm not sure i'm worthy of
Losing you is painful to me

( D-F#m-Bm-G-A7 )
(chorus) you would never ask me why
My heart is so disguised
I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to try
Though it's gonna hurt us both
There's no other way than to say good-bye

at 12:34 PM



Monday, May 2, 2011

Don't you hit her.

This is a true story.This is not my story

but perhaps mine to tell.

She is a city girl married to a small town boy.

A small town boy who had too many

insecurities to ever grow into a confident

man and a responsible husband.

Whenever he felt less confident by the sheer

presence of his well educated charming wife ,

he would fly into an uncontrollable rage.He hit her, hard and often,later repent

...even cry.

She would forgive him and carry on.It was now a pattern.


She knew it wasn't right.She knew she should fight.
But she thought continuously of her old and aging


parents who were content that she was a married woman.


She lived .Lonely.Broken .Alone.Conceived.Delivered a child.


When she held her baby in her arms,she felt emotion ..


after a long while ,she felt alive.


Things improved for a while but returned to normal.


Normal meant brutal and violent.Counselling


was out of question.Psychiatric help a dirty phrase.


She was alone in this...all alone.


Once while she attended a call from a colleague ,


the baby began to cry.He picked her up,


the defenseless child and began to shake in


a violent jealous rage,ready to throw her.


Don't you hit her,a scream tore through her mind.


She knew..tomorrow she will walk out...


Divorce.A good word in a bad marriage.Courage





Friday, April 22, 2011

an evening in sonmarg

Memory of an evening..



Sonmarg,2010.



I had sat down



by a lonely shepherd



in the lush pastures



of sonmarg



under the shadow of



the Thajwas glacier.



He did not say much.



However , i still remember all he said..





It is beautiful..this valley,my home.But it is not easy to live here.



We fight with the elements,it is a tough ride all the way to summer.



And our children,they suffer for there is no school for them ,no college,



no education...our life is uncertain for there is no peace here.



Our home,this valley..we love it..
it has beauty but it has no peace.
What is beauty without peace?
We do not know if our children would live
to see the coming season
or will be stolen away by all the forces here.To face
each day...we do not know how we face one day
after the other..his voice broke shattering
the silence in to a million pieces..
Terrorism and counter terrorism..i understood.
Courage
That night the moon was full and i have probably never
seen anything more beautiful then moonlight in Sonmarg.
Was there peace...i do not recall if i slept that night...